Billy Butler's Armchair Theatre

Billy Butler as he appeared in Armchair Theatre

Billy Butlers Armchair Theatre was an accompaniment of Series 1 of ChuckleVision. It was featured in every episode between 5 and 11 minutes of the program and ran for 5 to 7 minutes. It was presented by Billy Butler who is now a famous face on Radio Mersyside who sat in his armchair in different locations including a park and an industrial site and read stories off by heart (except in Episode 1 when he used a book) while sometimes dressing as different characters and using different voices. It was one of two accompaniment's to the Series.

The Stories are explained below:

Mr. Crackensthorpe's Bath - Written by Philippa Pearce

Summary:

Someone has stolen Mr. Crackenthorpes bath! But who could it be? Well maybe the Elm Street children or the Elm Street lot as Woodside calls them may have the clues everyone needs to solve the case of the disappearing bath!

Story:

Elm Street lies between Woodside School and the Park and thats where you will find Sim Tolland, Ginger Jones and the Elm Street Children or the Elm Street lot as Woodside calls them. Now the Elm Street lot don't go round looking for trouble of course but sometimes it finds them and there certainly found them the day that Mr. Crackenthorpe's Bath was delivered. Not all the houses in Elm Street have a bath though the council liked them everywhere. Mr. Crackenthorpe hates the council. He said "I'll have my bathroom the way i want my bathroom to be thank you very much!" And so he went out and bought a bathroom goodness knows where. A second hand one as well. It was a half day at Woodside School when the bath was delivered and all the Elm Street lot were there to see it. It was a paticularly large bath becuase Mrs. Crackenthorpe was paticularly large but Mr. Crakenthorpe said "I'll have Mrs. Crakenthorpe in that bath and out of that bath even if i have to buy a hoist!" Unfortunately the Crakenthorpe's door was very narrow and the bath was certainly very wide and it just wouldn't go in despite the Elm Street lot cheering, The mens trying and Mr. Crackenthorpe jumping about and dancing and saying "I'll have the law on the lot of ya if these goods aren't delivered!" In the end the lorry drivers mate got fed up and they dumped it in the garden and there it lay for all to see. The Elm Street lot couldn't resist it. First of all Johnny and Kitty Bates got into it.That was when of course they knew Mr. Crackenthorpe was out shopping. They pretended it was a boat and began to row it with all kinds of sticks and things. Then all the other children joined in and they became a whole crew of galleyslaves rowing across the ocean then it began to rain and they pretended that the boat was leaking and they had to get the bilage water out with yoghurt cartons. Just then Mr Crackenthorpe came back suddenly from the shops and the Elm Street lot ran for their lives and then the bath dissappeared. It was there in the morning when the Elm Street lot went to school. It was there in miday when they came back for there dinner but sometime during the dinner hour it vanished. Of course Mr. Crackenthorpe said "The Elm Street lot have stolen it!" But everyone of them knew that they hadn't but when they came out of school that afternoon old Mrs. Crackenthorpe came waddling towards them to ask them, no to implore them "Please return the bath" and she started crying and it was those tears because Mrs. Crackenthorpe was a nice old lady really and everybody felt sorry for her. That decided Sim Tolland. He drew the Elm Street lot around him and he said "Detect". The only trouble was there was nothing for the detectives to go on. You see every house in Elm Street had it's Kitchen at the back of the house and that's where everybody was sitting having their dinner at the time the bath must have dissappeared. The only exception was little Jimmy Clegg who got out of his chair in Mrs. Cleggs front room and ran to the window. When Sim questioned him and asked him if he's seen anything he got all scared and flustered and all he could say was "Clip clop, Clip clop, Clip clop" which was his impression of a horse. Their was only one other clue to go on. A roundish damp patch on the road outside the Crackenthorpe's house. Kitty Bates measured the patch with the tape. It was 18 inches accross and it seemed that their was nothing more that can be done about it and then Ginger Jones decided to have a sniff. "Phwoar! I'ts dung!" He said, "Horse dung!" The Elm Street lot were baffled. "What horse or horses and who would have removed the droppings so neatly and why?" and then someone said "Miss Munson!" Now little Miss Munson was a bit barmy about her garden and she was well known for going out and collecting droppings and compost to use a fertilizer. Everytime a Rag and Bone cart went past Miss Munson would be out their with her little shovel to collect all the droppings and then everyone realized where there detection had lead them. For the Rag and Bone cart was also the Scrap Iron Cart. Miss Munson admitted that she had heard horses hooves and that she'd seen horse droppings and the horse and cart and the Crackenthorpe's bath been driven down the road on it but she just collected her horse droppings and said nothing. She didn't want to have any trouble. So Jimmy Clegg was right. He'd seen what Miss Munson Seen and he'd heard what Miss Munson heard but he's only a little boy. That evening Sim Tolland got his big brother Bert and the rest of the Elm Street lot and went down to the local scrapyard. Sim climbed on Big Brother Bert's shoulders and looked over the wall and sure enough there in the middle of the yard looking as splended as ever was the bath and sitting next to it on a broken down old couch was the Rag and Bone man. "Oy!" said Sim over the wall. "Who's that!? Get away! This is private property!" said the Rag and Bone man. "What did he say!?" asked Bert."Who's that with ya!?" said the Rag and Bone man. "It's my big brother and all the Elm Street lot!" and at that the Elm Street lot all stamped their feet to show that they were really there. "Nice bath!" Sim continued. "Ah Mr. Crackenthorpe has lost a very valuable bath like that! He's down at the police station this minute!". "This isn't a valuable bath!" said the Rag and Bone man. "In fact! I-I-It's no good to us at all! I-I-It just takes up valuable space! In fact! I was thinking about taking it and leaving it exactly back where i found it!". "What did he say!?" asked Bert. "He said he's returning the bath!" said Sim. And at that the Elm Street lot all stamped their feet in triumph. Nobody ever knew for certain wether the Rag and Bone man had thought the bath was left out, wether he'd taken it because he thought no one was looking. All we know is that very late, that very same night. It was left exactly where it was taken from. Mr. Crackenthorpe wasn't very happy about his bath dissappearing and appearing like that in his own front garden and so he was quite civil when Mr. Clegg, Mr. Padorna and Bert Tolland appeared and they said "Hey crackers. We'll take out your front window we'll put your bath in that way". So that was that but someone must have told Mrs Crackenthorpe something because one day when the coast was clear she went down to see Sim Tolland and the Elm Street lot and she gave them a great big bag of Jelly Babies and as far as i know. Mr. Crackenthorpe never did buy a hoist to get Mrs Crackenthorpe out of the bath. Maybe he couldn't get one that was strong enough.

Michael's Donkey

It was also accompanied in Series 1 by Simon Lovell The Magician and his Magic Tricks.